He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
