its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
