does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
