It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
