Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
