You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
