Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
