with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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