This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
