You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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