i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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