your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pants are for mortals
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
