i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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