dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
