Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
