Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize