did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize