Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
