You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
