Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
