is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
