look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
