I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
