Christians are straight up FREAKS
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
