you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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