I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
