So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
