Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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