There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
