So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She even gives head with a lisp.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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