I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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