Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
