I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
