You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize