Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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