I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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