i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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