How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just google imaged poop.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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