Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
