No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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