is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
