So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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