i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
