My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
