Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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