Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
