While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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