Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
