the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize