I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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