i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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