Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
