we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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