I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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