it wasn't lemon gatorade
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
