Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
