She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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