Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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