He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
