I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
