i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
