I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
