His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
