our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
