I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
