Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He shit in the fireplace
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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